Since the first of August (just the other day), I have eaten no junk or meat apart from fish meat. I have loaded myself with sufficient servings of vegetables and have cut back on my carbohydrate intake (not that I consume too much. I actually don't consume more than a cup and a half of rice daily). Today will be my third day of keeping my vow and I know that today will be a challenge for sure. Being that I work a full 9hours, I usually snack on something unhealthy (courtesy of the convenience store a few steps away from our building) while smashing my keyboard. A call to Mickey Dee's or any fastfood chain would be the next best thing to having a full meal for dinner, but not anymore. I will have to either prepare something for me to bring to work, or make a quick stop at the nearby supermarket and grab a bag of lettuce (minus the caloric salad dressings) and something else (healthy, of course) to stuff my stomach with. Perhaps some of you are now wondering if I will be depriving myself of all the good stuff. My answer, no, not really. I probably will reward myself with a chocolate bar or a small serving of ice cream (my guilty pleasures) once in a while (take note that once in a while is not the same as every day) to encourage myself to continue on with my diet plan.
Along with giving my diet a face-lift, I will also be running at least two kilometers a day to keep my heart, legs and lungs in shape. My daily 15minute-weight-lifting-walk-in-stilettos does not and will never suffice for a good work out. Crunches, stretching, and some basic work out routines will have their share of the 24hours that I get daily.
I know I'm not fat or anywhere close to being so, but my soft spots are starting to frustrate me and kill my confidence. I also know that the 15lbs that I gained in 14months were just meat, added to my bones, and that despite this, I'm actually still a size zero, though just a bit rounder than I used to be. I promise I will not go back looking like a frail and sickly anorexic baby. I'm just going to go back weighing 100lbs (I know I'm supposed to weigh more than this seeing that I'm 5'5, but... ugh. I'm not happy with how I am now) and that's it.
Now that I just subjected myself to scorn and mockery, I better be able to keep this vow for good. I'll update you guys in a month. I should have something to report by then. Be with me
Sincerely,
9 comments:
It was tough reading this because I know this new diet & work out plan will not be easy for you physically or mentally. I know how you feel trust me, I've put myself through the same stuff many of times, but it just breaks my heart that you're going to put yourself through this. I understand the feeling of being consumed with thoughts about your body and weight, but is it all really worth it? I guess I'm asking you this becuse I don't want you to have to put yourself through all of trouble you're going to go through.
What does your boyfriend say about all this?
I think for myself personally, what has really helped me to stop stressing about my weight so much, is the fact that my boyfriend doesn't want a stick for a gf & that he worries when I lose too much weight...
But idk, it just really made me sad reading this because I worry about you. Well if ever you want to just talk or vent, hit me up. Good luck with your new diet hun <3
Oh my Dana, I was nearly moved to tears. To be honest, he doesn't know about my plan. He wouldn't like it if he knew about it. He gets irked every time I complain about my weight. Sometimes I joke that I'd go back to how I was when he met me (I was skinny as hell then) and he'd get really annoyed. He, too, doesn't want a stick for a girlfriend. Matter of fact, he feeds me to make sure I don't go skinny. He sometimes brings me food to work coz he knows that I never bring food and when he finds out that my coworkers sometimes eat my food, he gets even more frustrated.
I have never really gone through dieting, so I'm not quite sure how I'd go about this. I guess I never needed it, and perhaps I still don't. I don't know why I'm subjecting myself through this torture.
hey girly - check my blog
awwww....
im sorry to hear about your health problems,hun
*hugs*
im no expert on weight loss..
heck..i haven't even lost a pound off of me in my entire life...i've always been overweight kasi e.
in some ways i understand what you're saying about the 'all talk & no action'
im like that too...
but now im really trying my best not to eat as much as i do before...
kasi im thinking i don't wanna be fat on my wedding day..
i guess my main motivation is my wedding day nga..
i guess you just need to really focus on one goal to be able to do better..
you still look great,girl..
you have to love yourself (easier said than done,huh?) because lots of people love you..
you of all people should learn to love yourself first & foremost
*hugs*
Seriously though, you really don't need to even lose weight. I've seen so many pictures that you've posted, and you look great! Trust me, this whole plan is so unnecessary :( I think a good way of judging whether or not you're doing something good for your body is to ask yourself "Am I keeping my diet plan a secret from the people that I love because I know that they'll tell me not to do it?" If the answer is yes, then you shouldn't do it.
But moving on to a lighter note... haha, Sorry for being such a worry wart ~__~ I just can't help it. I'd be able to ship you charms through 1st class mail, and it'd only be like $3.
Hunnie, you don't need to lose any more weight You are perfectly fine. 100lbs at 5'5? who cares what the people around you say, fat on muscle is a +. i have been trying to gain weight for these past few weeks and i havent been able to gain anything. =( i'm 103lbs/5'3 and scared to death that i am waaay too skinny. i can feel the bones and its so yucky =( i wish i can have those meats on your bone.
@Thiamere: Weight has always been an issue for me, though I never really grow that big to be so bothered about it (I am thankful for that alone). In fact, I can always shed off excess pounds easily if I want to. But ever since my beloved happened, I started gaining weight (I gained 15lbs in 14months). I guess it was he had a hidden agenda to make me gain a few pounds for me to look healthy. I used to look sickly and frail when I was around 95lbs. Someone even told me that I look like someone suffering from consumption (tuberculosis). I was not offended when I heard that. I was even flattered.
Anyway, I really haven't been eating right since the start of the year. I skip breakfast when I know that it's the most important meal of the day. My meal(s) for the rest of the day would be fastfood or sweets. On top of all that, I don't exercise. I tell myself that I would but I never got to start. I owe it to myself to eat right and to exercise coz I will eventually reap the consequences of my actions when I hit my 30s. I guess it's never too late to start.
I admit that I do want to lost weight; but a part in me lies a desire to quit my bad eating habits and develop a new and better one that will keep me fit both mentally and physically. And for me, there's not other way to do it but to go green :)
@Dana: I discussed my diet with my beloved yesterday. He didn't get upset because I didn't tell him the part where "I'm doing this partly to lose weight." If I say one more word about me being fat, I'm sure he'd get really irked. I know, I lied :( Ugh... now my conscience is killing me. I guess I have to talk to him again today when he wakes up.
@Mrs. Joshua: 100lbs has always been the ideal weight for me though I know that I should be around 115-120lbs for my height. And yes, I love it when I see my bones protruding. I find it sexy. I'm crazy like that. My hipbones are showing up again and I'm excited. But don't worry, I'd be keeping this diet not solely to lose weight, but for health reasons as well. I won't be going back to 95lbs. 100lbs is okay with me.
You can do it ^_^. Time & focus is all you need, goodluck :)
BTW girl, I tagged you (It's a picture tag). Pls. check my blog about it, tnx ^_^
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